What Can I Say About

Jorge Posada? Well I can say that I've always been a Yankees fan, though never have been a big fan of Jorge. Sure, he reminds me a lot of someone I knew in high school that I didn't particularly like. But biases aside, I never thought he was such a great hitter, as he would continue to disappoint (me) at bat time after time.

There's a great article called It's Better to Dump a Player a Year Too Early which basically berates the Yankees for paying their players such high salaries, and how they feel obligated to give these players field time because they are paying them so much, even though they are under-performing. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Now, I'm not one of those sports fans who knows all the stats about every player on every team; just a New Yorker who enjoys watching Yankees games. So maybe it's not my place to say, but I damn think it's time to get rid of the 35+ year old players earning north of $50 million dollars, and replace them with fresh twenty-somethings who will take less money and who are not fat. The fact that my buddy Jorge was offended for being knocked down in the batting line-up, well, he should be praising the baseball gods that he still has loyal fans who pay good money to see him strike out. No offense.

Losing Myself

I just need to complain about my allergies. As if I don't vocally complain enough. Year after year as soon as the last week in April rolls around, or the weather gets warm enough to finally finally be rid of my winter coat, when everyone around me seems to be enjoying sitting in outdoor cafes, I feel the need to hide. With the changing weather comes endless sneezing, red itchy eyes, and just pure and simple misery. I have to wash my hands and face a dozen or more times a day to get that pollen off but it never seems to completely come off. Shouldn't touch my face, but can't help touching my itchy itchy face. Damn NY. All those allergy meds featured on those ridiculous commercials where people take a pill and can suddenly start gardening in the middle of May, yeah, those don't work at all. I really lose myself for about 4 weeks a year, and it stinks.

Another Late Night :-P

I'm not complaining really... well maybe a little, but you'll live! If I didnt make such good money waiting tables i swear i would quit. i dont know what i would do just yet but im young and cute i could find something. So anyway, last night everyone was talking about the new GaGa song and i like it, i mean good for her and its got a great message. All the older guys are downing it talking about how shes just copying Madonna *sigh. When i got old guys at a table i agreed with them that Madonna was better and then the young guys i said that GaGa was the junk. hey it helps my tips right and now that im tryin out for some parts in local theater i have to look the part. i wonder if Depp started this way. probably not :-( he's to good to have to wait tables. i wonder if him and tim burton have a secret thing going on, wouldnt suprise me they are both such deep artists. you would think opportunities in New York would be easier to come by. waiting tables can be so cut throat. i don't know who is worse the waitresess that look like hookers or the guys that cant do the job but think they can because they are hot looking. Really its the only reason i do it now. i have my looks and personality and for now it will make me some money till i get my big break, something will come along. i could just settle down and marry a banker but i'll only do that if i get old, like when im 28. i guess its kind of cool getting out of work when the sun comes up but there are no clubs open then really. unless i go to the afterhours kind, some of them are cool, and some are real sleezy and gross. besides they cost more money and there is no one left to buy you a drink or a hit. i guess its worth working the late shift though, like i said the money is good and it leaves me time to get my acting together. not everyone is bad, i have some good regulars that take care of me, who knows maybe ill open up my own restaurant someday instead of acting. could be creative there too.

To Act, or to Get a Real Job?

When I left for the city, I thought I could do anything. I still believe that most of the time. Mums the one who always said hard workd get me anyplace I wanted. She and Dad meant for me to go to business school, but that's not my bag. They want me to eat well, stay warm, watch my credit rating for the rest of my life, you know? Could be they're right. But see if I tell them so. Dream crushers. They love me, but they're dream crushers. :(

Not that I don't appreciate all they've done. They already pitched in ten thousand bucks towards tuition. I'm up to my chin in loans, hungry, and prepared to ride the subway for the next two decades, but I'm grateful, for sure. i owe it to 'em to work my hardest, be the best, you know? I wanna make them proud of their son. Sometimes I feel bad for taking their money---most of these people earned their way all on their own. Mums spoiled me a bit, and Dad looked the other way.

Acting gives me the best high I ever had. I can be anybody, anywhere, whenever there's a camera rolling. It doesn't stop when the lights go down, either. I can slip in and out of any character at will. its gotten to be easier than changing my clothes. I just don't even think about it. The best thing is that nobody knows who's me and whos one of my characters.

I don't have it in me to give up on this without trying real hard. I do understand why there are so many conflicts about careers in acting. I hate to let down my parents. I don't mean to make them worry, but sometimes I think they're just jealous of all the good times i have here in the city.

People in acting school are different, you know? They don't ask many questions. they don't often reject you, they just reject you for roles. And no one sits around obsessing about things back home. Acting school is way too fast-paced for that sort of thing. It's not even like we've all known each other very long. There's certain stuff that's just understood. ;)

I can't hardly sleep at night, though. Sometimes that's not a bad thing. Like I'm just thinking about how Johnny Depp got to be so good he can play a hilarious pirate, a creepy chocolate factory owner, or a psychopathic barber equally well. He still looks good halfway into his forties. Other times, though, I'm wondering if I might wind up middle aged, living in some hole-in-the-wall efficiency with the utilities shut off, abandoned by my family and so-called friends. People often say most celebs are inwardly miserable. Money can't buy happiness, all that. Twenty-five years or so from now, I might be miserable. If so, I might as well have some dough, anyway.